This Letter is to My Dearest Dad

How I miss your presence every minute and how different my life is without you in it. The little things that you did unknowingly, I'll remember and treasure, always, fondly.

Do you recall those taxi outings you helped organise, for all the children with various disabilities? A young boy in a wheelchair, his legs amputated due to meningitis? That beautiful little girl, her stunted growth made a mockery of by her friends at school? A brilliant day at the Yellow Crags beach, the funfair and the donkey rides as well as the cacophony of flashing colours and sounds. The smiles on every child's face was priceless, and you did that.

It's so empty and cold without you around, but I'll keep my feet firmly on the ground. I remember your every word of encouragement, no matter how good or bad was my temperament.

Those long years of being abused in childhood, the isolation of not being able to tell anyone, how could I? I didn't know it was wrong, my own deafness and speech impediment was used against me. When the truth finally came out, who was there for me, but you? Who held my hands, wrapped me up in strong comforting arms as I wailed my confusion, my anger and my lost innocence?

The memories I can recall, your laughter and tears have taken away many of my fears. You taught me all about hope, and for that, I'll somehow cope.

Reaching adulthood, was a long and lonely path. Yes I had people around me, but they didn't hold a candle to what you did for me. There's something special about you, Dad, that gave me little nudges in the right direction, even if it took a few attempts to get on the correct course, but I finally got there.

But what will I do without your guidance? I can't judge life with a mere glance. You always used to sit me down and say, "It's best to go the positive way."

So many mistakes I've made in this life since you passed away, I've tried so hard to overcome. The difficulties I've experienced and made it more enjoyable and I succeeded. Now I'm the happiest I've ever been, but it was an uphill battle to feel this way.

Since this life you had to depart, I want to let you know that deep in my heart, I will always love you, as do the rest of your family and friends too.

Writing this down has made me realise how much I still miss you, your advice and cuddles as well as your stern words to help put me back on track. You were so invaluable to those around you who have benefitted from your wisdom.

A heart-wrenchingly goodbye to the best Dad ever, I'll be proud of you forever. No-one could ask for anyone better, and I damn well say so, in this letter.

Love you always Dad and thank you for helping shape the person I am now

xxxxx